This is part one of a series that has truly and profoundly touched me. I’ve had the opportunity to interview both my son’s grandparents on his Daddy’s side. Being able to look through old pictures, talk to them, and research this sad and unfortunate time in the history of the segregated South in America, has been a personal eye-opening experience.

For quite some time, I’ve been wanting to write for my son a special post about his African American/Black heritage. Though sadly enough my son’s Black ancestry has a dark history of oppression that needs to be shared from his grandparents’ own unique perspective.

What better way to do so than during Black History Month, and to teach our son his heritage through his grandparents, their history, also his story. My son is so blessed to have both his grandparents on his Daddy’s side alive, and well to share their story.

They were born in the South during the 1930s in the midst of the Great Depression and racial segregation. I interviewed both of them to get a perspective of what it meant growing up Black during the segregation era and the Civil Rights era.

They will be sharing their own personal struggles, and life-changing events that made them into the persons they are now. Amidst the segregation, they were still able to further their education, and pursue college degrees. My mother-in-law obtained a bachelor’s degree from Tuskegee University, and a master’s degree from New York University. My father-in-law went a step further and obtained a Ph.D. from the University of Miami, a master’s from Columbia University, and he obtained his bachelor’s degree from Morehouse College. The same university Martin Luther King, Jr. went to.

They both met in Alabama and married. Many years later they had a son who was born in the same year that President Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act in 1964 banning segregation, and discrimination.

They are currently both retired professionals enjoying their only grandson, our son.

Today’s interview is with my mother-in-law. My baby’s grandma.

Tell me about your ancestors, and parents. 

My great-grandfather on my mother’s side was a slave. He lived and worked as a house slave and lived on the plantation in Winnsboro, South Carolina. He worked to live on the land he was living on. When President Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863 declaring “that all persons held as slaves” within the Confederate state “are, and henceforward shall be free.” He was free to go. However, he chose to stay since his master granted him the land that he earned working as a slave. He was very liked by his masters. This land was in fact inherited by my mother who was born in 1900.

My Mom was a nurse who worked in the neonatal unit at the hospital. I was the only girl among four children. I had all brothers.

My Dad worked in a steel mill. He was good at his job, and it was a mixed mill with both Whites, and Blacks working there but they weren’t allowed to work side-by-side. He went to school in Tuskegee. His job was to straighten steel bars. He was really good at it, and they’d call him all the time. He couldn’t get promoted, but he got paid good money. He worked all his life in the steel mill.

Growing up did you ever feel there was a disadvantage growing up Black? 

Yes, we couldn’t do things that White folks did. Arthur and I were just talking about the Christmas parade when we were growing up. They would take us to see a White Santa riding by, and he was throwing candy at the White kids. He never threw candy at us, we were just there staring. We were just happy to be there.

In the restaurants, we couldn’t go in either. We had to go back into the alley, and order from a special window for people of color, and wouldn’t dare to drink water from a White fountain. There was one for the Whites, and another for the colored folks.

Everything was segregated we couldn’t go to the fair like you take our grandson. They only had one day when Blacks could go. I never went Mama just took one of us, our oldest brother. There was also only one pool for Blacks, there were many pools for Whites. It was far from home, and we had to take the bus to get to the pool.

Speaking of buses. When I was a teenager they had these boards on the bus (we called them streetcars) that read “color.” They might have been 6 feet long, and you had to walk behind the board all the way to the back and sit. Then in my early 20s that’s when the Rosa Parks movement started because Rosa didn’t find a seat in the back. At the train station, there was also a “Color” side and a “White” side.

As an adult going to go to the theater and watch a movie, we had to go upstairs. This also reminds me of something else in shopping. Even in the 1950s when I was working you’d go to these nice department stores you couldn’t try on anything. You have to purchase it, take it home, and then return it if it didn’t fit. Don’t dare put anything on your head either.

Your Dad was Black but had fair (white) skin color; do you think life was easier for him because of that? 

I guess it was easier for him as long as they didn’t see him with us. For instance, if we were with him they’d knew he was Black. Every time we traveled by car in the South we couldn’t use the bathrooms. He could use the bathroom but we had to hide in the car. Then he’d tell us, “All right I’m coming up in a cornfield.” So all of us can “go.”

Did you have any contact with White folks or had White friends growing up? 

Oh, no never! We could get arrested. I didn’t want to get arrested.

Fast forward to this day and age because today we’re celebrating Black History Month. Do you think there still exists racism and segregation to a certain degree? 

Yes, if you’ve grown up in this you just feel it, and maybe this person would be all right but you can walk into a room with a group of Whites you just feel like you don’t “belong.” A few years ago, my brother, his girlfriend, and I drove to Mississippi. We were looking for a restaurant, and pulled up and got out. We walked in, and it got quiet all of a sudden all these Whites turned their heads and looked at us. However, the restaurant waitress and everyone else that worked there were so nice. When we walked in we just got that “feeling” {she shakes her} it’s a strange feeling.

I remember when I was in graduate school, my brother was coming back from Korea; and on his way, he would come back through New York. I was living at the “Y” that was my first time living away from home, and I told him that I’d get a room for him at a hotel. I called and reserved the room. When we got there they asked our names and they looked at us; and told us no. This was during the summer of 1953 in New York. We had to run around, and look for a room for him.

Even today, there are Black and White churches in town. Not because of the segregation, but because it’s how it is. I wouldn’t feel comfortable visiting an all-White church. It’s a strange feeling, and it’s there.

How did you feel when Barack Obama won the presidency as the 1st Black president of the US? {Smiles and waves her hands up in the air}

Woo! Oh boy! It’s a wonderful feeling.

Although the president is ½ Black and ½ White, he’s considered and viewed as a Black man. You have a grandson who is ½ Latino and ½ Black how do you think the world will view him?

He’s going to be viewed as Black, and he’s a good-looking Black; and a smart one.

What would you tell your grandson if he asked you, “Grandma what am I?” 

You’re my grandbaby! You’re my little apple dumpling, that’s what you are! {Laughs out loud!}

Can you give your grandson some words of wisdom, about racism and prejudice? 

Give people a chance to prove themselves; whatever they say they are. Sometimes your first encounter could be different after you get to know them.

What advice would you give him? 

Just to believe in himself, and whatever it is that he’s striving for, or if he thinks he can do it no matter how the “other people” look at him try anyway. I like to be independent, and if the “other people” don’t want me I don’t let that drag me. I just say goodbye. Go on and do your own thing. I want him to be honest. It’s important for him to be an honest man.

How do you feel about interracial relationships, and about me? {I asked her to be honest. I’ve been married to her son for 6 years so whatever she said wasn’t going to bother me.

{We all laugh!}

I just had a lump in my chest. I was where did he find her? I didn’t know you. It’s like I tell my grandson to get to know the person first, but I was shocked! I wondered why he couldn’t find a Black girl to marry, but deep down it’s not all that. It’s my son’s decision who he wants to be with.

Why were you shocked? 

They’d be saying that Puerto Ricans would cut you all up, and I was thinking Lord, I don’t want you stabbing on my baby.

{Everyone laughs!} I asked her where in the world did she get that from! She has no idea, and that’s what she’s heard. I will probably have to do a little bit more research and see where this negative perception of Puerto Ricans is coming from.

After the interview, we looked through old pictures. I thanked my mother-in-law for her time, and then went on to interview my father-in-law. You’ll read that interview in an upcoming post.

My thoughts and reflection

It is our responsibility as parents to educate and teach our generation about the struggles of their ancestors. With that being said, this blog is a cultural journal for my son. For him to embrace, and be proud of his unique Latin and Black heritage. It’s an open letter for when he’s older so he can read, and learn how special he truly is.

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  1. This post is excellent. I always enjoying reading how you express the feelings of others and yourself.

  2. Fantastic interview! What a cool MIL you have. Thanks so much for sharing with us.

  3. I agree, her candid explanations are fascinating. I am sure she has a lot more interesting history for you to document.

  4. Lisa, you are so right! There's much more to her story! I've made notes here, and there so I can pass it on to my child when he gets older. 🙂 Thanks!

  5. Thank you Stephanie! I was excited when she agreed to an interview. Though I have it videotaped she said I was prohibited from showing it to others. So I had to type it up! 🙂

  6. Thank you so much Tasha! I'm trying to portray her as she is, and her feelings as well. Hopefully I have done her justice!

  7. Really interesting – thanks for posting. I never realised 'Blacks' could get arrested for so much as talking to 'Whites'. It's important that this part of history be accurately known and remembered, this post is a great example of how easy it is to help with this effort, simply by listening and recording people's experiences.

  8. Wow Frances – this is an amazing post and will be such a treasure for your son! It is so wise of you to document this history. I often wish I had written down more of my own grandparents stories when they were alive. Just one question – you're not going to cut me up when we meet are you??

  9. Frances, this is AMAZING!! As Stephanie said, you have a very cool MIL! You hear about how things were back then, but the details she gives are just so chilling – having to "go" in a corn field, not being allowed to try on clothes at the store – and definitely not making friends with white children! But my favorite part was her answer about what she would tell her grandson about who he is 🙂

    It would be interesting to know where the stereotype about Puerto Ricans came from! I love that she is so honest about it, and that even with that idea she accepted you and now welcomes you as her daughter. You obviously have a close relationship now. Please thank her from all of us! Can't wait to read the rest!!

  10. Thank you Aisha! When I had asked her about having White friends you should have seen the look of terror on her face! That was strictly prohibited. I'm glad I'm able to document this for my son.

  11. Hahahaha noooooooooo I'm not going to cut you up when we meet! Isn't it crazy the misconceptions, and myths that surrounding Puerto Ricans! Wow! Thank you so much for stopping by, and hopefully my baby will be able to truly learn to appreciate everything his grandparents went through in order for him to be where he is now.

  12. Thank you Leanna! I'll be researching where this cutting up myth comes from! LOL I will keep you posted. She lived a very hard life, and today I can understand where she comes from.

  13. Hello Vanessa! Thank you so much for stopping by! It's truly a blessing to have little one's grandparents alive, and well to share their story.

  14. Really interesting! Thank you to your MIL for sharing! ありがとう!

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